Chelsea's Ashley Cole celebrates winning the UEFA Champions League, after the final whistle. Picture Owen Humpreys/PA

“They may be further sullying the human race’s already tarnished reputation, but they were both so very right.”

I do hope Robin van Persie wasn’t watching.

Saturday night telly has gone downhill and it plummeted to new depths at the weekend.

After parking the bus, Chelsea were riding ‘round west London in it yesterday. My how things have changed since Ken Bates ‘electric fence’ idea and that awful little greyhound track they called ‘The Bridge’.

Chelsea may not have our history, trophy record, class or fanbase, but they did the one thing we have never done.

And it highlighted starkly just where we are at. Third place, eh. The bronze medallists.

When Ashley Cole, horrible, little Ashley Cole, looked into the camera at the end and spat: “No one can say nothing now. This is why I come (sic) here.” Well, who could argue?

Nasri last week, Cole this week. And both were so right.

They may be further sullying the human race’s already tarnished reputation, but they were both so very right.

And I thought of that picture of a beaming Ramsey, Oxlade-Chamberlain and Walcott after beating West Brom. Whoppee!

Get the vol au vents out of the freezer – let’s have a party!

What will RVP be thinking now? What’s the betting that this thing drags well into August, and another pre-season shapes the months ahead in detrimental fashion?

I’m not going to give you my 37-point plan to a better future.

But I will say it’s not about spending enough cash to fill the Albert Hall, it’s about instilling heart and a strategy, the two things Chelsea – of all sodding clubs – have displayed over the past six weeks.

And not giving Johan Djourou a new £50k-a-week contract.

Amongst many, many, many other things.

Still, I could be a Spurs fan. Every cloud, eh…